This article just came across my transom, courtesy of Lissa Boles.
It’s Mike Rowe from “Dirty Jobs”, talking about what I call Micro-Rules and finding your *perfect* (whatever):
A Fan Asks Mike Rowe For Career Advice…He Didn’t Expect This Response, But It’s Brilliant.
Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs is an awesome guy. He can build or fix anything, he’s very entertaining, and has a great sense of humor. Mike also tells it like it is and gives great advice to others. A fan wrote him and asked him for some career advice:
Hey Mike!
I’ve spent this last year trying to figure out the right career for myself and I still can’t figure out what to do. I have always been a hands on kind of guy and a go-getter. I could never be an office worker. I need change, excitement, and adventure in my life, but where the pay is steady. I grew up in construction and my first job was a restoration project. I love everything outdoors. I play music for extra money. I like trying pretty much everything, but get bored very easily. I want a career that will always keep me happy, but can allow me to have a family and get some time to travel. I figure if anyone knows jobs its you so I was wondering your thoughts on this if you ever get the time! Thank you!
– Parker Hall
And here’s the reply…
Hi Parker
My first thought is that you should learn to weld and move to North Dakota. The opportunities are enormous, and as a “hands-on go-getter,” you’re qualified for the work. But after reading your post a second time, it occurs to me that your qualifications are not the reason you can’t find the career you want.
I had drinks last night with a woman I know. Let’s call her Claire. Claire just turned 42. She’s cute, smart, and successful. She’s frustrated though, because she can’t find a man. I listened all evening about how difficult her search has been. About how all the “good ones” were taken. About how her other friends had found their soul-mates, and how it wasn’t fair that she had not.
“Look at me,” she said. “I take care of myself. I’ve put myself out there. Why is this so hard?”
“How about that guy at the end of the bar,” I said. “He keeps looking at you.”
“Not my type.”
“Really? How do you know?”
“I just know.”
“Have you tried a dating site?” I asked.”
“Are you kidding? I would never date someone I met online!”
“Alright. How about a change of scene? Your company has offices all over – maybe try living in another city?”
“What? Leave San Francisco? Never!”
“How about the other side of town? You know, mix it up a little. Visit different places. New museums, new bars, new theaters…?”
She looked at me like I had two heads. “Why the hell would I do that?”
Here’s the thing, Parker. Claire doesn’t really want a man. She wants the “right” man. She wants a soul-mate. Specifically, a soul-mate from her zip code. She assembled this guy in her mind years ago, and now, dammit, she’s tired of waiting!!
I didn’t tell her this, because Claire has the capacity for sudden violence. But it’s true. She complains about being alone, even though her rules have more or less guaranteed she’ll stay that way. She has built a wall between herself and her goal. A wall made of conditions and expectations. Is it possible that you’ve built a similar wall?
Consider your own words. You don’t want a career – you want the “right” career. You need “excitement” and “adventure,” but not at the expense of stability. You want lots of “change” and the “freedom to travel,” but you need the certainty of “steady pay.” You talk about being “easily bored” as though boredom is out of your control. It isn’t. Boredom is a choice. Like tardiness. Or interrupting. It’s one thing to “love the outdoors,” but you take it a step further. You vow to “never” take an office job. You talk about the needs of your family, even though that family doesn’t exist. And finally, you say the career you describe must “always” make you “happy.”
These are my thoughts. You may choose to ignore them and I wouldn’t blame you – especially after being compared to a 42 year old woman who can’t find love. But since you asked…
Stop looking for the “right” career, and start looking for a job. Any job. Forget about what you like. Focus on what’s available. Get yourself hired. Show up early. Stay late. Volunteer for the scut work. Become indispensable. You can always quit later, and be no worse off than you are today. But don’t waste another year looking for a career that doesn’t exist. And most of all, stop worrying about your happiness. Happiness does not come from a job. It comes from knowing what you truly value, and behaving in a way that’s consistent with those beliefs.
Many people today resent the suggestion that they’re in charge of the way the feel. But trust me, Parker. Those people are mistaken. That was a big lesson from Dirty Jobs, and I learned it several hundred times before it stuck. What you do, who you’re with, and how you feel about the world around you, is completely up to you.
Good luck,
Mike
PS. I’m serious about welding and North Dakota. Those guys are writing their own ticket.
PPS. Think I should forward this to Claire?
That’s one more reason to like Mike Rowe. He’s too cool! If you enjoyed Mike’s advice, share it with others.
Source: The Real Mike Rowe
(found again at http://www.lifebuzz.com/mike-rowe/ April 7, 2016)
The most important line is in the last paragraph: “…most of all, stop worrying about your happiness. Happiness does not come from a job. It comes from knowing what you truly value, and behaving in a way that’s consistent with those beliefs.”
All I can add right now is “The grass is always greener where you water it!” – Listen for your own Micro-Rules that keep what you truly want far away from you. Make changes in how you talk to yourself, and to the Universe. Your world will change right along with you.
Blessings, all…
May 6, 2014 at 2:18 pm
Hi, Karen. I love your posts. They arrive like little surprises in my inbox.
I noticed, however, that the link to Mike Rowe’s article doesn’t work. The link needs the colon after http, as in http:.
Regards,
Bonnie Nicholls 619-384-8203 Web site: http://southparkscribe.com Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/banicholls
May 6, 2014 at 7:34 pm
Thank you Bonnie! The link is fixed, I hope – let me know if it isn’t, please.
June 5, 2014 at 11:48 pm
Alright – NOW it’s really fixed!
(If it still doesn’t work, search the headline-as-shown on Distractify.com. And come back and let me know, please!)
May 6, 2014 at 2:42 pm
Very nice. Good job.
May 7, 2014 at 2:44 am
Thank you! I so appreciate your reading here 🙂
June 5, 2014 at 10:08 pm
>>“The grass is always greener where you water it!” <<
I love that!
June 5, 2014 at 10:47 pm
Hi, Peg ~ thank you so much for popping by!
^^^ It allows so many more options than “the other side of the fence” – and it seems a much healthier, happier way to go through life, doesn’t it?
June 24, 2014 at 7:44 am
What good advice to start my Tuesday with–thanks for sharing.
July 7, 2014 at 2:33 pm
I’m glad you enjoyed it, KatyBeth!
(and thank you for confirmation that the link works properly now. I appreciate that!) ~K
April 7, 2016 at 12:18 am
Reblogged this on Curves 'n Angles and commented:
Ioriginally wrote this nearly 2 years ago – and the link never worked. I just found the original source, and updated it, so if you’re curious – here’s what-all Mike had to say…
April 7, 2016 at 9:16 am
What a great passage of text! And, how right he is about happiness. I was having a discussion about this subject only 2 days ago with someone, and I was explaining that no one is responsible for my happiness other than me…. and I have control over how I wish to think about and view things. Love the grass is greener quote – brilliant! Linda. 🙂
April 7, 2016 at 10:29 am
Good morning, Linda!
Yes, isn’t it amazing when ideas start spreading, even if they’ve been around a while? ~ Proof that “It’s all been said before” is BS, because it hasn’t been said just like this, eh?
Thanks for commenting – I really appreciate your being here.
Love your “Permission to Thrive” line, too! ~ Kay/Karen J
April 12, 2016 at 10:07 am
This is brilliant! I love Mike’s response and I was picturing a friend exactly like “Claire”… these people will NEVER find what they supposedly want…
April 12, 2016 at 11:39 am
Hi, Dale! Thanks for stopping by and commenting! 🙂
Yeah – I sometimes find myself looking a lot like “Claire”, too… definitely calls for re-examining my own ‘Micro-Rules’!
April 12, 2016 at 11:42 am
I hear ya!!!
January 4, 2020 at 10:56 pm
Nope – it’s all about those self-erected walls, yaknow? ~K
January 5, 2020 at 1:17 am
Yep…
January 4, 2020 at 10:54 pm
Hey! Hello again, Dale!
It’s good to see you, here-abouts, again! ❤
November 1, 2021 at 11:01 am
So, I just re-found this post – on Nov. 1, 2021!
It’s still an awesome response, and I’m probably going to repost it again, soon.
Bright Blessings to you ~