“I want a(nother) cigarette… “
I hear that in my head on a regular basis, sometimes within 3 minutes of finishing one.
This morning, I asked myself: “What part of “I” wants what part of that cigarette?” Mouth? hands? lungs? brain chemistry? blood chemistry? brain habit? (which one(s)?) body habit?
Is it the smoke? the smell? the broncho-dilator effect? the blood vessel dilation? the muscle relaxant effect? the muscle-movements of inhaling? the tiny little division of attention needed to type AND hold a cigarette between my fingers? a ‘cool factor’ (This is what a writer, writing looks like – from really old movies, don’chya know)?
Am I really hungry? thirsty? resisting some Authority? …my own Authority? Am I bored? scared? confused? excited? (forgot one: horny?) (also: really, really relaxed ~wink~)
~~~
One thing I’m certain of, is that it’s not – as the sound-bites would have us believe – “all about the nicotine” — there’s a ton of other things (emotional, logical and physical) going on, too.
And a “smoke break” has a different effect than a cigarette *at the same time*. ~ Sometimes the best thing to do is to get up and get away from the project. ~ Sometimes, what’s really called for is that boost in the *right-here-right-now*. When I want to stretch and widen my focus, give my attention room to wander, “Must go outside” is useful. When I need more focus on the project at hand, the last thing that would help me is to put it all down and go somewhere else and risk losing track of what I was doing.
~~~
I’ve been more-or-less successful in keeping to 1 pack per day or longer (20 smokes in 24 hours) but some days are far, far from that goal.
I do smoke much less when I only buy one or two packs at a time, not by the carton. (There’s no longer a price differential, so using the “scarcity” trick does come in handy!) Another “trick” I’ve just thought of while writing this is “What else could today’s $8 be used for?”
I can’t give a general answer to any of those questions because they’re all situational: “It depends…” is the only accurate generalization that applies! Maybe simply digging up the questions will help find more deeper answers, though…?
Bright Monday Blessings to you, my friends ~
~~~
PS: This article definitely shouldn’t stay buried deep in the comments: http://www.fluentself.com/blog/habits/smokers-edition/
July 29, 2013 at 8:22 pm
A fascinating post, Karen J!!! And as always, the writing is top rate and full of humor and wit. I wonder how long you’ve been smoking.
According to Malcolm Gladwell in The Tipping Point, the cool factor for smoking is far more powerful than we may think. I am an asthmatic who has repeatedly wondered what it is like to smoke. I see a man at the coffee shop who makes love to his cigarettes each morning, smoking with incredible panache. I have to admit it looks cool.
I also have to wonder about why I stuck with the guitar for so many years – for many of the same reasons you mention in your post to be sure, including the cool factor. Or perhaps playing the guitar well is no where near as cool as I think it is?
July 29, 2013 at 10:37 pm
Oh, CJ! “Playing the guitar well” is Incredibly Cool! 🙂
Also, I’m sure you get more good feelings from it than “pain”.
Let’s see: My Dad smoked until I was 11 (then he died – that does make it kinda difficult, don’chya know?). My first pack must’ve been “lifted” when I was in grade school, and I’ve no idea now, how long that lasted – it lived in my underwear drawer and only came out when I felt particularly stressed – I’d open the storm window and perch on the sill so the smoke “didn’t come in the house” (Hah! I wonder if that really worked, or if Mom just didn’t want to *make a scene*?).
I didn’t take it up “for real” until I met my 2nd honey – at 21 – and started smoking *his* after work. I was going through a whole pack before closing time!
So, the (much shorter) answer is: “nearly 35 years”! That’s a lot of reinforcement through repetition, isn’t it?
Thank you for the compliments on my writing, too – It’s such an
agonizingpainstaking process, sometimes, to “get it right” that it’s really nice to hear that I’ve succeeded! {{{{Hugs!}}}}Karen
July 30, 2013 at 1:16 am
Hi Karen, Great post. I like your writing style – it’s cooler than playing the guitar well. 🙂
My brother’s a smoker and he’s finding it hard to stop. He’s been smoking for more than ten years…
I smoked an experimental cigarette in school but that was it. You’re right – it’s more than the nicotine.
July 30, 2013 at 3:01 am
Aw, shucks, Rohi… (ducks head and shuffles feet)
Thank you! (I *can* get over the “still embarrassed by compliments” thing fairly quickly… )
Do check out CJ and Tammy’s work at the Great Jollyhoombah, too (http://www.hoombah.com/)! I think your funny-bone will get a kick out of it.
August 8, 2013 at 3:40 pm
Rohi ~
Please forgive my social-oversight: “Good for you, not taking up the habit! That’s a Bright Spot to remember all your life.”
August 25, 2013 at 10:13 pm
Just came in from a smoke break and read this. I know it’s not PC, but I gave up feeling guilty about smoking a few years ago. Guilt wasn’t helping me quit and at 65, I’ve already done the damage. There are so many triggers that make me want to keep smoking – from anxiety to pleasure to the desire to have an excuse to get away by myself for a few minutes.
Lucky for me, where I live, cigarettes cost around 50 cents a pack and smoking isn’t socially irresponsible.
By the way, check out this Elmore Leonard video. It’s a great video and he lights up early on in the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeZQl2nvnfM
August 27, 2013 at 3:08 am
Hello and Welcome, Rob! What a delight to find you in my Inbox of a hot sticky Monday morning!
Thank you for the comment, for the video, and for my *first* ping-back! 🙂
I will definitely be back to your blog repeatedly, too – lots of very good information there!
Bright Blessings to you!
August 26, 2013 at 3:45 am
[…] read a great blog about smoking this morning. In On Cigarettes . . . mine in particular, Karen J writes: “One thing I’m certain of, is that it’s not – as the sound-bites would […]
September 29, 2013 at 10:09 pm
Karen, as an ex-smoker – twice, might I add! I feel you. I smoked from Grade age 17 until 23; quit for 8 year and THEN STARTED UP AGAIN!!! WTF?? Mind you, the fact that I had started up again, led me to hang out with my hubby – whom I’ve been with for 18 years. We have both, however quit again (me for 16 years, him for off and on a good 10 now). I totally understand the pull towards it. I had a friggen good reason to quit the last time and have managed to resist the pull since.
I’m a live and let live kinda gal and can only tell you that reading your post was most enjoyable. Will definitely have to sign up and read what else you’ve to say!
September 30, 2013 at 6:50 pm
Hi, Dale! Welcome aboard, and thanks for stopping by.
And I truly appreciate your Live and Let Live approach! I fear in my
gutscaredy-cat lizard-brain that it isn’t nearly as common as I keep finding it to be IRL!Congratulations on quitting again, “staying quit”, and finding and keeping your Man!
Some days, I’m barely succeeding at quitting for “an hour at a time”. 😉
September 30, 2013 at 7:19 pm
All you can do is the best you can! I had a good reason (my firstborn,
Austin, had a heart defect and I always blamed myself though I was told smoking had nothing to do with it. Whatever. We lost him at almost 8 months old. I kept on smoking but the day I found out I was pregnant for my next one, that was it. Finito! Kaput! When you are really ready, you’ll find a way. Till then, keeo on trying!
September 30, 2013 at 10:39 pm
*That* is so true!
~ And {{{Big Hugs}}} for you and Daddy and Austin!
October 1, 2013 at 7:42 am
Thanks!
October 3, 2013 at 1:07 pm
Surprisingly, as a musician, I never got into the habit of smoking cigarettes or that other wacky tabacky! But…my mom smoked, a few of my ex-girlfriends smoked and I have friends who smoke as well. And like Dale above, I also fall into the live and let live category so no judging here 🙂
But just for the record…guitar playing is way cooler than anything…:)
Take care Karen and thanks for a fun and enjoyable read! All the best.
Lyle
October 5, 2013 at 1:24 pm
Welcome, Lyle! and good for you for not picking ’em up!
I’m so glad to hear you enjoyed this post, too. I was nervous as hell about posting it – in the urban/suburban Midwest, we’ve been made to feel like such pariahs that where there used to be a knot of smokers having delightful conversation, no matter the weather, now people often huddle to themselves and avoid eye contact, even with other smokers, on beautiful days!
I keep doing my best to counter that, but rediscovering self-acceptance is an uphill battle.
Not gonna debate what’s cooler – it ain’t a zero-sum game! 😉
October 14, 2013 at 8:24 am
Hi Karen, I hope you keep posting. I see you are continuing to get comments. My Dad smoked until he absolutely couldn’t (even for a short while when he was on oxegen for breathing). He can’t now, and thankfully he is still with us.
October 14, 2013 at 9:19 am
Hi and Happy Monday, Pete – so glad you’ve checked back in here!
Thank you – I have no plans to quit this, though, I just re-noticed the date of this post and “Oh My!” Looks like I’ll have to suck it up and stick something vaguely “closing paragraph”-like on the end of one of my many(!) Drafts, and Just Post It!
I’ve been doing a lot of reading-other-people’s-posts (and commenting on ’em), and through the magic of link-back technology and catchy titles, folks do keep coming around even though this has been up since July!!
October 25, 2013 at 6:09 am
I’m so glad I stumbled in here…I think it was the “spirograph” image and our many mutual “likes” on any given day. Also, your followers are awesome!
October 25, 2013 at 7:10 am
I know – aren’t they great!
I’m glad you stumbled in too, Jaye.
Poke around all you want, this is a pretty eclectic space (with a lot of ‘dead-air’, to my chagrin. I’ve been crafting on another post for a week or so, now, though 🙂 )
October 31, 2013 at 4:06 am
Karen,
Yep, looking cool can feel so important! Back when a friend and I quit smoking I said to him, “But we still have to sit in the smoking section [of the restaurant] since that’s where all the cool people sit.” Now there are no smoking sections where I live, so I guess everybody’s uncool.
Have a great day!
October 31, 2013 at 10:09 am
Good Morning, Robyn! Happy to see you 🙂
It always seemed to me that once they sent us outside, “the smokers’ guild” just had a lot more fun!
It was an automatic community, and you were Welcome no matter who you were, or what your role was – it was easy to find yourself borrowing the CEO’s lighter, and engineers talked to janitors and salesmen *and* secretarial temps and truck drivers.
That’s what I miss most in this new command-ist atmosphere, I think – that easy camaraderie… 🙂
November 9, 2013 at 9:43 am
I was poking around in Havi Brooks’ Fluent Self archives this morning and found this excellent resource: http://www.fluentself.com/blog/habits/smokers-edition/
December 2, 2013 at 7:41 am
Since this summer, I’ve made a concerted effort to SMOKE LESS ~ 3 or 4 cigarettes a day. It hasn’t been hard. And it’s been a real money saver.
It helps that I only smoke outside, since BFF doesn’t smoke. And I don’t smoke in our cars. I usually have one in the morning with coffee. One after lunch. One at Happy Hour. And one in the evening before bed.
December 2, 2013 at 9:32 am
Good for you, Nancy!
Yes, the “smoking outside even at your own home” trick is hugely useful if you want to reduce the dependency.
When C first died 3 1/2 years ago, I thought briefly about making that rule for myself. I was in such a state and had so many other things that I suddenly had to reinforce *for myself* instead of *with a partner*, though, that the thought went right out of my head pretty quickly! It didn’t help that he’d been *ADAMANT* about “Nobody’s gonna tell me what I can or can’t do in my own space, Dammit!”, so I’d internalized that attitude, too. Now, K’s Place is kind of a refuge for folks who are tired of “must go outside”, especially when it’s doing that windy freezing drizzle thang we get in Chicago!
Happy Multiple Winter Holidays to you –
December 2, 2013 at 11:36 am
Smoking outside is easier here in Florida then it was in NJ or MD. I don’t have to put on a parka first! 😉
December 2, 2013 at 6:46 pm
Oh, yeah! That definitely makes a difference!!
July 26, 2014 at 9:37 pm
Update, again (a year later):
I’ve moved in with friends (who also smoke in the house), and am changing all my habits to “fit in” – I don’t smoke upstairs at all and just this evening, I decided to skip the cig while I’m cooking – or to use the new NJoy e-cig, if it’s really necessary.
So far, that’s making it much easier to stretch a pack past 24 hours. 🙂