“What do you think of talking about something more interesting?” – lista de emaile

I’ve been sitting on this anonymous comment from Portugal for almost 2 weeks. I’ve been bouncing around between “Be nice!” and “This is link-spam, and kinda rude, too! Delete it” and “It’s TRUE! But what DOES ‘more interesting’ look like??”

Meanwhile, it’s been gnawing at my self-esteem and piling on my “Why do I bother? Why do I dare?” whimper-mess.

So, why did I post it here?

To face the fear; to learn to accept that some-unknown and irrelevant number of the 6+ billion-with-a-B folk who inhabit this rock aren’t going to like what I write; to prove to myself that not “getting it perfect the first time” will NOT, in fact, kill me.

See: I’m still here. I’m still typing. I’m still breathing and walking around and doing (or not doing) all the normal things I do on a Sunday Monday night.

~~~~~~~

I don’t know where that bogus notion – that I MUST get it RIGHT on the FIRSTΒ  try, or else I’m worthless – came from, but it’s been floating around for a long, long time. Perhaps from an impatient-Mommy-day, or an overheard comment from a teacher or an Auntie, or even a previous life-time. The details may not be all that important.

Certainly, my very young brain created inaccurateΒ  “lessons” and have beenΒ  repeating them loudly in the background of my consciousness ever since.
Digging them out and finding the kernel of Truth that’s buried beneath the really un-happy-making interpretations, and reshaping the story I tell myself, is the next step…

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