In other words: Be Here Now!

Because, yaknow, I go wherever Shanna Mann leads (well, not quite, but she certainly points in fascinating and useful directions!) I’ve started reading “Cordelia Calls It Quits“, and I’m thoroughly enjoying the collection of primo Ahah! moments shared there.

Here’s today’s ~ Don’t Play The Results  – ultimately, it’s about “Be here now” but in a different voice, and with much different words.

~ Cautions about ‘assuming a result and then acting as if it’s a foregone conclusion’  (especially and soooo easily a worst-case result) – wisdom from Michael J. Fox, in particular. Christopher Reeve lived from this POV, too.

How do you remember to take this perspective?

~~~ 

Bright Friday Blessings to ya!

 

What stays constant…

Bridget Pilloud gifted me with this reading on my “Color of the Year”:

(It’s near the center of the list – but all these colors pertain, because of my mix.)

Ocean rising.  Green moving to teal  to blue, to purple to violet and back. Flowing.

This is a suggestion that while you experience many different moods and ideas, you see what stays the same throughout your experience.

For though the colors change, they’re made up of the same thing, water and light.

There is less pressure near the top of the ocean, where the colors are the brightest.

Expect a year of light, teeming with life, and all of the good and difficult that comes with it. Pay attention to what stays constant.

Constant in my life? After a year (or three!) of huge changes ~ ??

One thing I’ve realized/recognized/admitted(!) just this morning, is that I’ve been soul-deep and cosmically UNhappy with choices I’ve made over the years. And *that* hurt so much that I buried it so deep that I couldn’t feel it. They frequently felt like the only option available at the time, but still …

Sometimes, I picked the easy way, or the 4-year-old’s  “I wanna…” way.  Sometimes, it was simply the “oblivious to others” way. Once in a while, I picked what I KNEW was right, even though I also knew it wouldn’t be easy to live up to (more often recently than when I was younger – imagine that!).

Those oblivious choices have caused deep hurt to other people, too. Especially family. Now, I’m searching for ways to ‘make amends’ ~ that won’t cause more harm ~ (Is that taking on too much responsibility for other people’s emotions?)

What else is staying constant? I’m still chewing on that ~ reports as I realize them!

 

“Thirteen Ways of Looking at Space/Time” – short fiction

An ArchiveDive, a random walk through commenters’ blogs, and an awesome piece of science-fiction-sorta  lead me to this ….

I started out here:  Shanna Mann’s post “Show your work“; jumped to her “What is  your Work?“; thence to one of Ty Barbary’s  “Things I Learned This Week” from April, 2011.

And from “how to find serenity in an industry that doesn’t want you” to: Clarkesworld, a forum for science fiction short writings…

The first piece I read (the one that Ty ref’d) is:  http://clarkesworldmagazine.com/valente_11_08/ )

Looking at the list of Catherynne’s other writings – I picked this one:

http://clarkesworldmagazine.com/valente_08_10/

                            a 2011 Finalist: the Locus Award for Best Short Story

Amazing! and … It will bend your brain – sort of like Havi Brooks’ Shiva Nata does (according to those who actually practice)

{This was originally written -and stashed in Drafts- in the middle of 2011. I find now that “Thirteen Ways…” didn’t win, but Neil Gaiman did – can’t be terribly unhappy about that, methinks!}

 

DonorsChoose and “Pick Your Color 2012″

Last week, Bridget Pilloud challenged everyone who played in her “Pick Your Color of the Year” sandbox to make a donation ‘somewhere’, along with asking her for a reading of their color.

My ‘somewhere’ is DonorsChoose.org – a compilation of U.S. public school teachers’ classroom project-funding requests. You can browse projects and give any amount to the one that inspires you. (According to them, and my friends who are teachers, “[American] teachers are spending $1 billion from their own pockets each year on [classroom] supplies.”)

My current choice is Dictionary Blues – ‘cuz, yaknow, I’m all about ‘the books’, not-so-much ‘the gadgets’ or ‘the tech-toys’!

Won’t you join me, on this project or another one of your choice…

~~~

You can still use Bridget’s Color readings, too!

Pick your color and see what she has to say about a similar one. It won’t be personalized – that was only for the 1st 50 folks – but she’s posting her interpretations on her blog.

Here’s the first set (Reds, Pinks, Oranges): http://www.intuitivebridge.com/blog/2012/01/reds-pinks-and-oranges-of-2012/.

I’ve got that feeling ~ 2012 is gonna ROCK!

~~~

Oh yeah – here’s my “Color”:  http://www.bstmarket.com/fabric/hoffman%20batiks/purple_green_watermark_batik.JPG

~~~

Here’s Bridget’s take on the Blues, Greens and Purples that readers chose for their Color – http://www.intuitivebridge.com/blog/2012/01/blues-greens-and-purples-of-2012/

And Yellow, Metallic, or a Mash-up – http://www.intuitivebridge.com/blog/2012/01/colors-of-2012-if-your-color-was-yellow-opal-metallic-or-a-mash-up/

And last but not least, the RoundUp – http://www.intuitivebridge.com/blog/2012/01/colors-of-2012-round-up/

~~~

 

Why NOW?

so, I’ve been looking for particular paperwork this morning:

Plat of Survey for the house: might get reimbursed by the HOA for last week’s sewer work! -

Also will need to find the extended warranty I *think* I bought for the car – I seem to recall 100,000 miles coverage: also potential reimbursement for brakes failures in the last 2 months, plus current front end issues -

In the search, I’ve also come upon lots of pieces of paper (and whole files) that can probably be trashed, but bear closer examination before commitment -

I also found the ‘free delivery – mail within 30 days of delivery for reimbursement’ form for the newish-fridge – obviously never mailed *that* in, either! Duh!!

The problem with doing this search mission *now* (10:30 on a Friday morning) is that I have an ‘out-of-the-house’ job to do – today! And Every Friday!

It’s not a surprise; it’s really fun; and it pays well ~ so why do I keep starting something else when I should be getting out the door??? What is this self-sabotage all about? This actively counter-income problem?? Why do I keep shooting myself in the foot, just before it’s time for something important to me (or even worse to someone else)?

Worthiness issues? Don’t really care issues? “See, I told ya I wasn’t dependable”?? Who’s that talking in my head? And how do I get around those whispers of bull-shit?

~~~~~

 

Articulate Rage

Read this:
http://imaginingbetter.com/?p=2300

And then Caitlyn’s inspiration:
http://luminouspage.blogspot.com/2011/02/i-ruined-everything-why-it-was-more.html

And then, please Pass It On!

from Karen ~ who is Eternally grateful to ALL my Teachers, even the very few who were ‘bitter turds’, themselves.

 

Felicia’s “Turning the Box” Post…

I just spent several large chunks of time looking for this: http://feliciaslattery.com/blog/uncategorized/turning-the-box/   (Hurray for *finally* finding it again ~ )

I know I’ve mentally referenced this article often, if not out loud or in so many words, both here and in real life conversations. This was definitely one of the pieces that ‘primed my pump’ for changing the way I look at Life, The Universe, and Everything! Perhaps it’ll be useful to you, too.

Thank you again, Felicia!

Turning the Box

Published January 27, 2007 | By Felicia Slattery

Life lessons can come from the most wonderful, least expected places!  Today I was playing with my two-year-old daughter, Miranda.  One of her favorite toys these days is her shape sorter box.  You know the kind; it’s the cube with various shapes cut out.  Until recently, she has been working on getting her shapes down.  She is now at the point where I’ll say, “Miranda, pick up the triangle,” and she’ll actually go for the triangle about 9 times out of 10.

Today she learned a new skill: turning the box.    As she was struggling to fit the round shape into the square slot, she realized she couldn’t force it in.  Until today, she would try and try, but couldn’t force it and would just give up and pick up another shape.  But today she looked at the box for a second and realized the round slot wasn’t even on the side of the box she was looking at.  That’s when she picked up the box and turned it around to the side that did have the round slot.  As soon as she saw it, she dropped the round shape into the round slot and she was thrilled!  And ready to select the next shape.  For the next 10 minutes– nearly an eternity for toddlers– she gleefully picked up shape after shape, wildly flipped the box around and around until she found the right slot, and easily dropped the shape where it belonged.

As my little Miranda was turning the box for the first time, I was reminded of my own business.  I realized I was trying to take my “triangle” background and force it into the wrong “rectangle” slot.  Like my two-year old, I kept trying, but I just couldn’t make a triangle fit into the rectangle slot.  It wasn’t until I turned the box of my own reality did I find the triangle slot.  The triangle slot was there the whole time, but I couldn’t see it because I wasn’t looking at the whole box.  When I turned my box, I could see the correct slot right away.  I was trying to force something that was not going to fit, but now, it’s so simple!

All it took for was one great coach to ask me a question and suggest that I turn the box.  That was it.  What “shape sorter” are you working on?  Have you thought about turning the box?  The next time you are working on a problem, take a step back and ask yourself if there is another perspective.  If something is not going easily or well, it could be that you are trying to fit a square shape into a round slot.

This is one task that a great life coach can help you do really well.  Sometimes we’re too close– we don’t even realize there are other sides to the box.  All it takes is one person to ask, “What if you tried turning the box?”  I love life lessons — especially the lessons I learn while playing with my kids!

~~~~~~~

Felicia J. Slattery, M.A., M.Ad.Ed., is a Communication Consultant, Speaker and Coach with more than a decade of experience teaching people effective and powerful communication skills in order to achieve their happiest and most successful lives.

You can find out more about her, her style and her work, AND sign up for her free newsletter, at http://feliciaslattery.com/about/about-felicia/.

 

 

More about monsters

http://navigatingbyheart.com/2011/08/13/monster-hijacking/

~ In which Reba has a couple of enlightening conversations with her Monsters:

Whatever your intent is, if you are using scaredy/fear-filled/you’re-gonna-die words to talk about It, the important part of the message gets buried, and missed, and any progress gets blocked or even reversed!

 

‘Cinderella Interrupted’ – a work-in-progress

My friend and speech mentor, Felicia Slattery, is in the process of writing her first book ~ “Cinderella Interrupted” ~ about how we, as Western (mostly) females raised in the latter 20th century, have met, exceeded or blown up the ‘societal expectations’ we grew up internalizing.

I’m really excited about it – on a number of levels:

• It’s important
• It’s fascinating
• Personally, it’s gonna be a “very useful engine” for ‘my own work’ , AND
• She’s gettin’ it done!  (role model and inspiration, all at the same time – Thanks!)

Check it out – and contribute if you’d like!

(RennieJoy and Jackie – I’d love to read what youse-guys have to say – Anonymous is A-Okay, too!)

Bright Blessings and Have an awesome weekend – I’m hitting the road again as soon as I finish packing (where have we heard THAT before??)   K

 

The Elephant in My Heart…

I cried when I washed my hair this morning.

Hell, I’m crying now.

And I just can’t seem to get my head or my heart or my hands around packing for my every-year camping trip…

~~~

I know why this is – it’s because I’m trying, in my head, to be all “Strong” and “Independent” and “I can’t impose this pain on someone else” / “I can get past this on my own!” (Clearly, what Shanna calls “Survivalist”) And it’s also clearly NOT WORKING the way I want it to and it’s time to change my approach.

Because there’s this elephant in my heart, and I really can’t hide it anymore. If I don’t write/talk/cry it out, I’ll always have this great-big-sore-spot that I’m always dancing around and being afraid to really explore here or in-real-life … and that’s one great-BIG-mutha-roadblock, folks!!!

So, here goes … (hoo boy, is this hard to write) …

Cian, my DH, Life Partner and one of the Loves-of-My-Life, died a year ago Sunday.

(We knew it was coming, and we’d done an amazing amount of talking-it-out and crying and laughing, and even some planning, but nothing can REALLY prepare ya for the super-duper-roller-coaster of inside and out CHANGES {and the corresponding overwhelm!} that Mother Kali brings.) (It’s a lot like childbirth – you can do all kinds of ‘prep work’, and all kinds of talking-before-hand, and even exercises to get ready, but the “real thing” WILL knock you for repeated  loops!)

So, that’s my elephant, both my roadblock and my catalyst, and the great-big-thing I’ve been tip-toeing around here for the last year or two. I’ve mentioned it in my comments elsewhere, sort of as an aside usually, almost like it was ‘no big thing’ (really? Really, Karen?????) ~ reluctant (hell, afraid! admit it!) to examine my own reactions to going “that deep” into my own vulnerabilities. “Believing my own press”, eh? Oh, and afraid to allow (there’s that Permission thing, too) most other people to see that I’m not always as “graceful” or “together” or “serene” as I may seem.

~~~

There’s so many many bits and pieces that are hanging onto this, that I could avoid posting this for hours (I’ve already knowingly shied away from it for 2 months), but there are things that I choose to do now, and the first one is hit “Post” and really start the release and catharsis (and then the packing!).

~~~

I’ll be away from my computer ’til at least the 14th  starting this evening. I may check in, but I may not, too – just sayin’.

I love you, and I offer you all Bright Blessings and big hugs, always! K